L I Y A N A' S . T H O U G H T S

_______________________________________Wednesday, February 02, 2005
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Monstrous Regiment

Mood: Patronized.

Here's the verdict for the book Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment. So far, its the best book I have ever read about feminine courage. What I can say is that.. Women are better soldiers compared to men. [in the book anyway] I'm not complaining though since I don't have to go through National Service and protect the country and all. Women serve the country another way i.e: bearing children and put up with the complains from the men who DO go thru NS. heh. [Don't come after me with your chopsticks, its jus my views.] By the way, I'm beginning to love Terry's humour and imagination.. I can see my reflection in it. hah. I might start with his first book and read every sequel of it. jus like i did for Tolkien, Raymond E Fiest, Adeline Yen Mah and Stephen King.

Here it is.. the few favourite parts of the books:

" Jackrum looked at the rest of the recruits. 'Okay. Any of the rest of you boys ever held a stick? Right. I can see we're going to have to start slow and work up...'
There was another grunt from Strappi. You had to admire the man. On his knees, with blood bubbling through the hand cupping his injured nose, he could find time to make life difficult for someone in some small way.
'Private Bloodfnucker hnas a fnord, fnargeant,' he said accusingly.
'Any good with it?' said the sergeant to Maladict.
'Not really, sir,' said Maladict.
'Never had training. I carry it for protection, sir.'
'How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don't know how to use it?'
'Not me, sir. Other people. They see the sword and don't attack me,' said Maladict patiently.
'Yes, but if they did, lad, you wouldn't be any good with it,' said the sergeant.
'No, sir. I'd probably settle for just ripping their heads off, sir. That's what I mean by protection, sir. Theirs, not mine. And I'd get hell from the League if I did that, sir.'
The sergeant stared at him for a while. 'Well thought out,' he mumbled."

How good is that... carrying a sword for other people's protection. hahaha

" 'I vunder if you do. It probably seemed so sensible to him. It is a human craving, and no one minds if you say, as it might be, "I am dying for a cup of coffee", or "I'd kill for a cup of coffee". But without coffee, he vill, I am afraid... revert. You understand, this is very difficult for me to talk about...' Otto trailed off.
'By revert you mean...?'
'First vill come mild delusions, I think. A psychic susceptibility to all kinds of influences from who know vhere, and vampires can hallucinate so stronkly zat zey can be contagious. I zink zat is happening already. He vill become... erratic. This may last for several days. And then his conditioning vill break and he vill be, vunce again, a true vampire. No more Mr Nice Coffee Drinker guy.'
'Can't I do anything to help him?'
Otto reverentially laid his picture box in the back of the cart, and turned to her. 'You can find him some coffee, or... you can keep a vooden stake and a big knife ready. You vould be doink him a favour, believe me.'
'I can't do that!' Otto shrugged.
'Find someone who vill.' "

Love the accent man...

" They made their way back through the woods, and has almost reached the ruined farmhouse when it happened.
'You are holding up well, Mal,' said Polly. 'Maybe those acorns did the trick? You haven't mentioned coffee at all-'
Maladict stopped, and turned slowly. To Polly's horror, his face was suddenly shiny with sweat. 'You had to bring it up, didn't you?' he said hoarsely. 'Oh, please, no! I was holding on so tight! I was doing so well!' He fell forward, but managed to get on to his hands and knees. Then he raised his head, and his eyes were glowing red. 'Fetch... Igorina,' he muttered, gasping. 'I know she's ready for this...'
...whopwhopwhop...
Wazzer was praying furiously. Maladict tried to stand up again, fell back on to his knees, and raised his arms imploringly to the sky.
'Get out of here while you can,' he mumbled, as his teeth visibly lengthened. 'I'll-'
There was a shadow, a sense of movement, and the vampire slumped forward, stunned by an eight-ounce sack of coffee beans that had dropped out of a clear sky.
Polly arrived at the farmhouse carrying Maladict on her shoulder. She made him as comfortable as possible on some ancient straw, and the squad consulted.
'Do you think we ought to try to take the sack out of his mouth?' said Shufti nervously.
'I tried, but he fights,' said Polly.
'But he's unconcious!'
'He still won't let go of it! He's sucking it. I'd swear he was out cold, but he sort of reached out and grabbed it and bit! It dropped out of a clear sky!' "

Sucking on a sack of coffee beans? Thats what I call the Mother of all addictions...

" Polly felt hundred of eyes on her as the squad was let into the inner keep. There were one or two wolf whistles, because there were more soldiers in there, including quite a few trolls. Jade bent down, snatched up a rock and hurled it at one of them, hitting him between the eyes.
'No one move!' shouted Maladict, waving his hands urgently as a humdred men raised their weapons. 'That was the troll version of blowing a kiss!'
And, indeed, the troll who have been hit was waving at Jade, a little unsteadily.
'Can we knock it off with the lovey-dovey, please?' said Polly to Jade. 'The soft people are likely to get the wrong idea.'
'It's stopped the whistling,though,' Maladict observed. "

Wahahahhahahhahahhhah that flying kiss sure RAWKS!! hahahahahha

Present Reading: Terry Pratchett's The Wee Free Men

posted by AimiLiyana 4:24 pm

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Monstrous Regiment